Starting a Gratitude Journaling Practice
Have you ever wondered what all the fuss is about - why do people spout on about keeping a gratitude journal?
Is it just another fad - just another thing that 'new age' people do?
Well no...... there is evidence to support the benefits of a regular Gratitude practice.
Carrying out a gratitude practice has been shown to:
- Reduce stress
- Reduce anxiety
- Improve mental well being
- Improve emotional health
- Increase happiness
- Increase enjoyment of life
- Improve sleep
- Improve resilience in dealing with the ebbs and flows of life
- Improve our relationships with others
Let's first of all look at the 'how' of doing it.
How to do a written gratitude practice
There is no ‘one rule fits all’. You need to find the best way for you. What follows is merely some suggestions to get you started.
- Find yourself a notebook or journal to write in
- If you want, buy a pre-printed journal on line - but just a warning, they are expensive!
- You can go digital and keep it on your phone OR computer
- Write 3-5 things that you are grateful for each day
- Write them in the morning, evening, or both
- Before writing the gratitude – spend about 10 seconds with the emotions it elicits in your body. In this way you re-live the event, get more of that feel good factor, and ‘cement’ the memory further into your subconscious.
Rick Hanson has suggested that emotions that are held in our minds for 10 seconds or more can be transferred into our long-term memory. Compare this with negative emotions – which, because of their protective role, are immediately transferred into our long-term memories. 3
- Write the emotion in as much detail as you can and notice how your body responds as you write – you may notice a warm glowing feeling, or even a smile creeping across your face.
Categorise your gratitude’s
If you struggle to think of gratitude’s – try dividing them into categories. For example: family; friends; hobbies; health; events; relationships; nature; the simple things in life; qualities that make you unique.
The “three blessings” exercise
Martin Seligman, US Psychologist and one of the founders of happiness studies, has talked about an exercise called the “three blessings” exercise. In this, he recommends spending 10 minutes before bed recording 3 positive experiences that happened in your day and totally immersing yourself in them – it can be something big or small. 5
Notice the theme of immersion – also mentioned by Rick Hanson above.
How I did it
I started a gratitude practice in 2017 – it was a bit hit and miss at that point – but at least I had started.
In 2019, it became something I did in the morning and evening.
For the last 2 years, I have just completed gratitude’s in the evening.
I started with a pre-printed journal, and used this for about a year. I found it a useful way to get started, as the journal came with prompts. I used the 6 Minute Journal .
I then moved onto recording my gratitude’s in my bullet journal - an A5 dotted journal.
Finally, I decided that I wanted to keep a digital diary that was searchable – so part way through this year I started keeping it on Google Docs.
I always write 5 things I am grateful for in the evening – before bed.
It really is whatever works for you and motivates you to do the practice.
Think also how you might want to use what you have recorded in the future – that may help you decide how to record them.
Now, let's explore the benefits of having a gratitude practice.
The benefits of having a gratitude practice
1. Being grateful counteracts the brain’s negativity bias
Our brain searches for the bad in our environment; our body, and our mind. It is designed as a protective mechanism to warn us of immediate or potential danger.
“Our brain has a negativity bias, which makes it like Velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good. “ -Rick Hanson
This means that it will overly focus on the bad, churning it over and over in a loop to make sure that you ‘get the message’.
You may even notice behaviours creeping in such as catastrophising
Your brain overly remembers the negative events because it wants to protect you in the future.
Your brain becomes sensitised to the negative through stress hormones and other hormones.
One solution to dampen down this negativity bias is to engage in gratitude practices. (1)
The practice of starting to notice the good things in your day, trains the brain to increase its awareness of not just the bad. You will find that as you become more accustomed to gratitude practices, you will start to look for positives in your day – so that you have something to record later!
2. We learn to focus on the good things already in our lives
Often we can look to what others have and start the ‘craving’ and ‘wanting’. Feeling our life is lacking because we never seem to have enough or we never seem to have what other people have.
It is useful to step back and notice what we do have.
Often it is the simple things that bring pleasure, such as a walk in the park on a snowy day. The laughter of a child. The taste of melting marshmallows perched on top of a cup of warm hot chocolate or cocoa.
Sometimes we are so busy focussing on what we don’t have that we don’t pay attention to what is right under our noses.
3. It leads to more positives thoughts
If we can only focus on one thought at a time – then it might as well be a positive thought!
If we are focussing on a beautiful morning sky – then our mind is directed away from thinking about the fuel crisis or the cost of living.
When we are feeling stressed or anxious – thinking a positive thought can break the cycle and stop repetitive looping thoughts.
4. In times of struggle or difficulty, we learn to focus on what we have rather than on what we have lost
Edith Eger, an Auschwitz survivor, describes the scene in Auschwitz after herself and her sister, Magda, have had their heads shaven. When Magda asks her how she looks – Edith focuses on her sister’s beautiful eyes which have been uncovered by the hair having being shaved off. 2
We only have to look at the effects of the global pandemic and the hardships that people have faced. Despite this, some individuals were able to report positive things that arose for them during these times: a new sense of direction and purpose; quality time spent with family members; a new business venture; time to exercise; healthier eating; more sleep; and others.
5. We start to notice where our focus and attention are generally directed
Pay attention to what you are paying attention to" -Edith Eger
Do you miss the good things in your life because your focus is automatically drawn to the negative OR because you are simply not paying attention?
Notice any negativity bias and try and counteract it. You could, for example, try focussing on 5 good things for every 1 negative thing.
If you focus on sad things then you become sad. It will permeate your body and your mind and you give off a negative energy. This isn’t to say that you should bury your sadness – there is a time to sit with these feelings.
When you feel happy you will give off a positive energy. In return, you will attract positivity.
Have you ever noticed that when one person starts to express unconstructive negativity, this in turn will attract other negative comments and views from others – fuelling the negativity.
6. We can re-live and ‘feel’ the positive emotions of an experience
To do this you need to learn to internalise the positive emotions.
Rick Hanson, Neuropsychologist and mindfulness meditator, explained a process with the anagram HEAL which can help us to do this. It has 3 main steps with an optional 4th step.1
- H = Have a beneficial experience: Either you are in one OR you create one.
2. E = Enrich yourself in the experience: Immerse yourself in it; really feel everything about the experience using all your senses. Spend 10-20 seconds with it. Marinate in it.
3. A = Absorbing: Absorb internally everything about the experience so that it feels like part of you and you feel your body change inside e.g. warmth; a glow etc.
4. L = Link (optional): Have the main experience in the foreground with a negative experience (which could be similar) in the background
By continually practicing this you can change your brain through a process called neuroplasticity. This means that your brain will start to notice the good things that happen in your life as well as the bad. In this way we can learn to shift the balance slightly away from the negativity bias.
7. For those days when you think your life sucks
Read back – and notice all the good things that are present in your life.
As you read back, you will notice a pattern emerging of the things that bring joy and gratitude into your life.
You can deliberately try to incorporate more of these things into your life.
8. We can turn difficulties / ‘failures’ into gratitude
Imagine, you go for a job interview and don’t get it. In hindsight, you may notice that the job wasn’t even a good fit for you! Maybe the work culture did not align with your values. This is a reason to be grateful – there will be another job out there that better suits you.
You start to see failure through the eyes of gratitude. Every failure becomes an opportunity for personality growth. Every failure or hardship is temporary and will pass.
You can learn to turn a weakness, or self perceived negativity, into a positive affirmation. Julia Cameron refers to these negative thoughts as ‘blurts’ – they are the stories we tell ourselves that hold us back.
For example, how often have you told yourself that you are too old and set in your ways to learn new things.
Julia advises that we should turn these blurts into positive statements / affirmations and write them down a number of times.8 In the example given, this might look like:
My life is lived in the University of Life and there are opportunities every day to learn and grow – my age is never a barrier.
A positive self perception can increase our life expectancy.6
We can even turn negative comments and things that ‘trigger’ strong emotions in us, into opportunities to learn more about our thought patterns and our internal workings – so, if we choose, we can change them. In this respect, negative comments and triggers are things to be grateful for as they enable us to learn more about ourselves.
“Appreciate what you’ve got, what you get, and don’t take things for granted.”7- Oprah
“There was a roof over his head and rabbit food in his belly, and his pajamas were monogrammed.” Context: Linus showing gratitude for what he had in his life. –The House in the Cerulean Sea4
Other ways to show gratitude
This blog has focussed on the use of a gratitude journal to document your gratitude. However, other ways to express daily gratitude can also include:
- Verbally expressing it to another
- Sending thank you notes, emails to express it
- Prayer
- Mindfulness Meditation Gratitude practices
- Taking a photo and sharing it with others
- Via social media sites
- Others
References
1 Podcast: Mo Gawdat, Slo Mow. Dr Rick Hanson part 1 and 2. Posted 21.11.2021. Listened to : 16.07.2022
2 Eger, Edith, 'The Choice, Even in hell hope can flower', Rider, Pub: 2018 p50
3 Rick Hanson, cited in ‘The 6 Minute Diary’, Dominik Spenst, Ed: 2019
4 Klune, TJ ‘The House in the Cerulean Sea’ Book Pub TOR, Pub 2021
5 Cited in Chatterjee, R (2018) “The 4 Pillar Plan – How to Relax, Eat, Move, Sleep. Your way to a longer, healthier life’. Book Pub: 2018, Penguin Life p.45
6 Northrup, Christiane, ‘The Wisdom of Menopause – Creating Physical and Emotional Health During the Change’, EBook, 2012 p.400
7 Lesson 6”Great Lessons Learned from Oprah Winfrey” https://sourcesofinsight.com/lessons-learned-from-oprah-winfrey/
8 Cameron, Julia ‘The Artist’s Way – A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity’, Souvenir Press, E-book, 2012, p. 38-40
Related posts:
10 Things I Learned From My Mindfulness for Health Course
My Reasons for Doing the 8-Week Online Mindfulness for Health Course